It's a rite of passage that we all know about - your teen becomes obsessed with an activity, a 'cause' or a particular band!

Being a teenager goes hand in hand with passionately discovering veganism, gaming, politics, or developing an encyclopaedic knowledge of a particular music genre.

Sometimes it's adorable, and sometimes it's extremely irritating ("Yes, I do respect your views, no, I don't want to hear any more about the origins of Marxism in the UK thank you!").

So today I just want to share with you a little bit about why teens can become so obsessed with particular interests (why it matters!), and secondly, how you can reframe your reaction to their passion, if it is driving you mad...

Why it matters.
Firstly, it's important to know that the human brain is not fully developed until the mid-twenties. The last part to develop is the 'prefrontal cortex', the 'bit' that controls impulses- and organisational, thoughtful behaviour! Teens are therefore driven by 'less controlled' behaviour than adults (little kids have yet to develop  a strong 'buzz' from doing exciting things- so have less drive to do them), and teens feel emotions more strongly.

Adolescence is a time of very emotional 'feelings' related behaviour.

It is also a time of great learning about life ('survival' is always the aim) and so life skills are being accumulated rapidly.

Learning and feelings are related
So, as adolescents learn by feeling, the more strongly they feel something the more it will 'stick', and the better they learn it. Their passions, and feelings are therefore driving their learning, which often stays with them for life (albeit at a more 'faded' level).
(To reassure you - those Marxist politics will probably fade to 'left wing', the anti-animal cruelty campaigning will fade to a reasoned awareness, the eco-warrior will take a more measured but still eco-friendly approach to life, and so on. The passion is the driver and motivation to learn stuff)

Passion makes learning fun, and better learning leads to better survival!
(OK - so when we lived in caves teens needed to be passionate about hunting, gathering and fire making, and now they're passionate about gaming and music, but the brain is just doing what it's programmed to do, even if the societal norms have shifted!)

The key fact
Teens are programmed to be passionate about stuff, to learn about life, to ensure they survive.

Practical parenting tip
Reframing
The next time your teen is obsessively promoting eco-friendly washing liquid to you, or cataloguing their music collection again, or sharing their new interest in the Buddhist religion, remember;

  • passion is good (but be aware of potentially dangerous side effects like cutting out too many food groups- "it's important to look after your wellbeing to stay fit"),
  • take an interest in and be supportive of their interests, ("yes I would like to hear more about the origins of Grime music")
  • know that the passion will fade in many cases ("phew"),
  • and encourage them to use their passion for good where possible (test out lots of different interests to see what catches- "how about volunteering for a charity that works in the field you are so interested in?").

Remember! Their passions will shape our future!